The norm just isn't for me

by Sara
(Devon, UK)

Hi everyone,

Well, I have experience in hypo-mania and bipolar (reactive), depression and anxiety, OCD and panic. I am training as a psychotherapist though and have been fortunate enough to find the strength to overcome these problems. What I am left with though is my huge sensitivity and except on occasions when I am overwhelmed then I am extremely grateful for this gift.

But relationships are where we touch on deeper parts of ourselves than we'd like to aren't they. Our archaic aches and pains. What we are missing in life, what we never had. So the combination of the fact I have greater sensitivity than a lot of people and see love in a huge multitude of ways AND get overwhelemed by my feelings... Well that makes it more complicated than just liking someone and wanting to be with them doesn't it.

I practice buddhism and it's helped me to see love in the greater context of life. Before I couldn't live and love at the same time. I didn't even like life if I'm honest - I relied on love to sweeten it up and make it worth living.

But now I feel love for everyone, for the things I touch. Be they inanimate or not. I am mindful of love all day and so romantic love accounts for about 20% of the love I feel now.

I wanted to share that. I went from co-dependancy to buddhism to now, adapting my relationships to my heightened sensitivity.

I decided I was living the wrong relationships and that I'm not meant for one-on-one coupledom and living together etc. I realised there are many hundreds of ways to love.

Sara